Understanding Self-Esteem: Insights from a Therapist
Self-esteem is an essential aspect of mental well-being that impacts how we perceive ourselves and interact with the world around us. Research shows that self-esteem can lead to better relationships, greater resilience, and higher rated levels of overall happiness. Low self-esteem has been found to contribute to many mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, addiction and more.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is our internal perception of our value. It's shaped by our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. It's not simply about feeling good all the time, but rather having a balanced view of ourselves—acknowledging both strengths and weaknesses. High self-esteem doesn't mean being arrogant or thinking you're better than others. Instead, it's about feeling worthy, capable, and deserving of respect, both from others and from yourself.
Why Does Self-Esteem Matter?
Mental Health: Low self-esteem is often linked to mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression, and feelings of hopelessness. When we lack a positive view of ourselves, we may avoid challenges or neglect self-care, which can contribute to a cycle of negative emotions.
Relationships: Healthy self-esteem helps us establish boundaries, communicate effectively, and form supportive relationships. When we feel good about ourselves, we are more likely to engage in relationships that are nurturing and authentic.
Resilience: People with higher self-esteem are better able to cope with stress, setbacks, and failure. They see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than signs of personal inadequacy.
Building Healthy Self-Esteem
Building self-esteem can be challenging for many people and it is something that will take time. Some strategies to focus on to build or improve your self-esteem are:
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a close friend. Self-criticism can be harsh, but self-compassion allows us to embrace our imperfections and learn from them.
Set Realistic Expectations: Perfectionism can damage self-esteem. Set achievable goals and celebrate small successes along the way.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Whenever you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” try reframing it to something like, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Whether it’s supportive friends, uplifting activities, or inspirational media, fill your life with positive influences that remind you of your worth.
Self-esteem is not something that is fixed or static—it can evolve over time with intentional effort. By acknowledging our worth, being kinder to ourselves, and confronting negative thoughts, we can strengthen our self-esteem and ultimately lead more fulfilling lives.
If you ever find yourself struggling with your self-esteem, it may help to seek professional guidance. Working with a therapist can provide insight and tools for building lasting confidence. You deserve to see yourself as the valuable, unique individual you are!
If you are located in the states of South Dakota or Colorado and interested in professional support to build self-esteem, contact me here. If you are located outside of South Dakota or Colorado, I recommend searching for an in-network provider on psychology today for your local state/area.